We won’t pretend to know what happened between you two. There might have been a fight about whether or not organic avocados are a liberal myth, or if it’s blasphemy to keep your sheets tucked under the mattress while you sleep with two sweaty people underneath?! You’re such an egocentric — geez, get your stream of consciousness out of this introduction, reader; we’re trying to make our point.
Anyway, it’s over. For-real over, change your relationship status on Facebook over, pound a screw-top bottle of red and howl at the moon over. Now what? You might feel heartache or relief or relieved heartache or plain ol’ bell-rung shock. Then you realize: You’re back to being single. And being single is fuuuuuuuuun.
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